Thursday, February 8, 2007

Letting Go

**Contest question is at the bottom of my post.**

My title is “Letting Go.” What could I be talking about?

I have a teenager—a sixteen-year-old.

Need I say more? :-)

A couple of weekends ago, my son came home and said he was ticked at his friend. A group of kids had gone out that evening, and when they were on their way home, the guy he was riding with started racing another car in their group. My son said he thought it wouldn’t progress, but the friend got caught up in the moment and ended up going about 90 mph. That’s when my son called a stop to it. And the friend ended up apologizing, saying it wouldn’t happen again.

These are good kids I’m talking about. They’re all friends from our church youth group. They don’t drink, or do drugs, or get into trouble. They’re all good students. Really great kids. In fact, I usually don’t even worry when they’re out together like that. But when my son came home and told me about their stupidity, my stomach just plain hurt. I wanted to call his friend and scream at him—What were you thinking??!!

But what can I do, lock my son up for the next … oh, say, ten years … until they all have more sense? No, I have to let go, trust God, and pray that they’ll make better decisions.

Letting go isn’t easy for me. I’m a control freak. Just ask my oldest. He’s had times in his life when he’s yelled at me, “When are you going to let me live my life?!” I’m overprotective, I’m a worrier. I won’t go to bed until everyone is home, safe and sound. And I’m tense until all is right in my world.

I keep asking myself what in the world I’m going to do when he goes off to college! Oh, my. I don’t even want to go there. But eventually, I’ll have to. I have to face that fact that I can’t protect them all the time once they reach a certain age. They need to learn to be independent, to make their own mistakes and learn from them. I can only pray they learned from the racing episode. And I can also work on me. On my ability to have faith that they’re in God’s hands, that my worrying isn’t doing a bit of good.

Okay, all you who’ve already been through the teen years and have survived, I’m open to advice. How do you cope with this letting go?

And speaking of my son. Today’s CONTEST QUESTION is answered at my personal blog:

What was I making for my son that turned out to be such a disaster? :-) Check out my last blog entry to find out. Then come back here and leave a comment with your answer.

And may you win the Valentine’s Day chocolate!



  1. Good Morning Missy !

    You were making a strawberry cake that sounds wonderful to me ! Now we all want the recipe !!


  2. Hi Wendy!!

    Missy, you will survive. And the boys.....well they are so independent. You know my Alex and have heard the stories. Remember the Proverb (I think!) teach them the ways and they'll always come back.
    Not word for word, but you know what I mean. You've raised your son right...and he'll do what's right.
    I think letting go comes naturally. And trust me the time you spend with your children now will be filled with other things when they've flown the nest. It's all a cycle.
    And as a mom, you're doing great. Your son told you about the racing incident. He has a level of trust with you. That's awesome.
    Keep up the good work!!

  3. I think I called you while you were laughing over that disaster:-)

    Parenting isn't easy, is it? I can't tell you how many times I've said, "Uh, excuse me. . .I didn't sign up for this part of the course."

    Your title LETTING GO is very appropriate. How many times has God asked you to relinquish control of something to Him? Lots, I'm sure. Only with our kids, it's harder. I've seen my older kids make some really bad decisions. I've also seen them make some good decisions.

    Lindi's right, train them up in the way they should go. It's not so cliche. Look at how amazing it was that your son stood up to his friend. As a result of your training, he had the courage to give him what for.

    There is one more thing I suggest for this transition period--knee pads :-D


  4. Missy, you were making your son - a strawberry birthday cake with strawberry icing--the kind made with real strawberries. It sounds yummy! I'd love to have the recipe.
    Gina N

  5. Hey Missy - I've made a similar strawberry birthday cake - one with white cake, strawberries in the center and white frosting. Sometimes I've had to hold the cake together with the icing. And yeah, it's been a long time since I made one too. :)

    So your birthday disaster was - a strawberry birthday cake with strawberry icing--the kind made with real strawberries.

    Sounds yummy, btw. :)


  6. Missy,
    My daughter will turn 2 next month. I can't imagine how things will be when she's 16. I hope she'll tell me if something like what happened to your son happens to her. That says a lot about his trust in you!

  7. Giggle. Snort. hahahahahha

    I laugh because I've done this same thing lol and laughed all the way through it. But mine tasted yummy, too and what a great message!

    I have two teens with four more heading that way. Yikes. :) But we do have to trust they are in God's hands for our sanity.

    Oh and the answer for the chocolate is a yummy, strawberry cake pile. ;)

  8. Oh my! You were trying to make a homemade strawberry cake for your son's birthday, but it ended up being a strawberry 'delight'!
    It reminds me of when I tried making a 7UP cake one time. Turned out the same way, only I didn't laugh, I cried! I was only 16 at the time, lol! Learned a lot about cooking and laughing and crying since then!
    P.S. I'm really trying for the chocolate!!!
    Jennifer McLemore

  9. Hi, all! I've been out of town and just now got to read any comments on my post. Thanks for all the great feedback!

    Also, I'll try to get my act together enough to dig the recipe back out. I'll post it on my personal blog. :)


  10. You survive the teen years by not dying and since God rarely gives us that option, you just struggle along as well as you can and before you know it, they're adults and you're used to the wrinkles and gray hair and all is forgiven.