Thursday, March 15, 2007

A Mom Moment

I had one of THOSE moments yesterday. I’ve had them before. Had one a few months ago when I was pulling into the parking lot of Ruby Tuesday’s for a nice working lunch—just me and my computer.

That day as a pulled into the restaurant, I had to stop because a mother and little girl were about to cross to their car. They were holding hands, and the mother teased her daughter about something, and the toddler giggled. Then the mom picked up her squealing daughter and swung her up into her arms.

I promptly burst into tears. Could barely see to pull into my parking spot. It reminded me of when my daughter and I used to have lunch together every day while she was in preschool. In fact, her whole last year of preschool I bemoaned the fact that she would be going off to full-day kindergarten, and I would be losing my little lunch buddy.

Yesterday was similar. I was pulling up in the carpool line at the elementary school, and I could tell the exact moment when she saw my car. She was excited to see me. And it hit me: She won’t be so excited to see me in middle school. And she’ll be driving herself home from school before I know it.

Once again, tears poured down my face. I didn’t have so long to pull myself together. I only had a few cars in line in front of me. So I swiped my tears off my cheeks (and chin and neck), and hoped any lasing moisture remained hidden by my sunglasses. You see, no matter how many traumatic moments of realization I have, I don’t want to let her see them. I want her to march ahead to independence without giving a thought to old mom who can’t seem to get a grip on the fact that her baby is growing up. (Yes, she’s my youngest.) I want her to see only a mom who’s proud of the young lady she’s growing up to be.

Meanwhile, you poor blog readers get to see me in my moments of nostalgia, moments where it hits me so hard that it hurts to realize I can’t swing her up in my arms anymore. I do try to look at the positive side of things. I know there are other things to look forward to. She can almost wear my shoes, so we’ll be sharing clothes, and shopping together, and going to movies….

And of course, she still sits in my lap and holds my hand while we’re walking. For that, this mom is thankful.

Missy

6 comments:

  1. They do grow up fast. And it's the youngest that seems to do it the fastest. I remember thinking it was taking forever for my oldest to get through school. Now my youngest is in the second grade and I can hardly believe it. Where does the time go?

    Just like Mary, we treasure these things in our hearts and ponder them. Sometimes, when their older, it's those things that help us survive the crazy things they do.

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  2. Yes, precious memories to get through the teen years. :)

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  3. I also meant to ask if anyone wants to check in on last week's challenge!

    I worked every day except Sunday (which was planned) and Tuesday. So I guess I actually had to officially start over on Tuesday. Bummer!

    Missy

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  4. I know exactly what you are feeling. My daughter is preparing for prom. It'll be the last one. Then she goes off to a year long international exchange program if everything goes well with her application. It's so scary to let go. I cried today too:-) My kids are getting ready to head into adulthood. Sometimes, I wish the world would just wait for me to catch up. sigh. But boy am I looking forward to grandchildren, lol!
    Angie

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  5. A year long exchange program! Wow. That would be hard. Any idea where she's going?

    Missy

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  6. Hey Missy,
    It sounds like my daughter will be headed to Thailand. And a minor correction, it turns out it will be only for 9 months for the school year. I have to admit to being a tadbit worried. There's been a lot of change over there lately.
    Angie

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