Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Life Experience


Today is a packed day. Not much different than any other. But today I will write my mother's obituary.

Today is overcast. But not sad. Cool, but with the promise of spring. The trees are vibrant with new buds. The dogs paws are covered in wet earth from the rain. I had to hunker down and clean each foot pad. Two dogs, eight paws. The dishes had to get washed, the groceries put away, and all the animals fed. Today is the same as any other spring day.

Today is different. It's a day I purposely put off-just because I felt like it. I wasn't sure how to write an obituary for a woman who led a life of mental illness. I couldn't settle on the words, the attitude to portray to the world, or the way to format the thing. Today is the day.

Today is different. I prayed. God answered. Now, I have the words. They're pinging around in my skull. The words, they scream to be written as if they are little children begging for a snack. "Write me! I'm the word! Me. Me. Me. Put me down on paper (even if it is virtual paper) I'm the right word! And look, here's my buddy. Write that word too! Now. Now. Now."

I hope the words will convey a sense of purpose. I also look forward to them settling down in a common sense manner instead of acting out like those poprocks we used to buy and eat as kids.

Hmm, I never thought of that before. Words zipping around in all directions like poprock candy. Yep, that's the way it feels today. Funny, this is the kind of day my mother would give me a few pennies and send me off to the candy store with my cousins. I can feel them, you know. The poprocks. I can feel them in my mouth as if it were yesterday. They'd almost sting from the fizzy explosions. They were loud too. We'd giggle as we listened to each others puffed cheeks.

Sometimes I wish it were yesterday, but it's not. It's today. And there will be a tomorrow.

My writing is a gift from God. It is a gift to write her obituary today.

The God who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He was there through my childhood and hers. He is there now. He is with my mom and waits for me to get to know her in heaven. Won't that be grand day? A day to look forward to for the other days I have left here. That'll be the day I meet my mom-the one who isn't mentally ill. I'll thank her for the best gift she could give me during my lifetime-introducing me to Jesus.

What a day! Today is the day that I use my writing experience to tell others about my mom and to point them to the hope we have in Jesus. A hope that will let us meet our loved ones again without their illnesses.

Today I have hope.

Angie
PS Eva's obituary is posted on my blog today.

6 comments:

  1. This is the day the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

    God has equipped you, Ang. And this is the appointed time. You go, girl, knowing that my prayers are with you :-)

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  2. Funny you should pick that verse out of Psalm 118, Mindy, it is the verse that will be on my mom's memorial marker. Of course it also says, "There's always time for ice cream."

    That was my mom's favorite verse. My son pointed it out. So we put a phrase that she said often and then said, Read Psalm 118:24 after it to hopefully encourage people to look it up.

    Thanks:-)
    Angie
    PS the obit is up on my blog now.

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  3. Angie,
    What analogies you come up with. They are perfect. I hope you have peace with this.
    And you're right. Your mother is in heaven, enjoying a painless life now.
    Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

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  4. I hear I think a little differently:-) Thanks for the nice compliment and the words of encouragement.
    Angie

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  5. Beautiful post, Angie. Beautiful sentiments.

    And thanks for reminders about poprocks! I loved them. :)

    I'll check out your blog now.

    Missy

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  6. Me too (on the poprock thing.) I'm dying to run out and buy a pack! Maybe we'll have to find some together:-)

    Seriously, thank you for your kind words.

    Angie

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