Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Soar Like An Eagle

My son is about to be married to a wonderful young lady. Our families are both really looking forward to it. But already the change is being felt. How do you let go of a child you have cared for all these years? It's like releasing an eagle after caring for it. You're not sure it can fly yet. But you have to let it go because it was never meant to live caged forever. The time has come.

My husband and I have been discussing this because our future daughter-in-law feels the pressure from needing to go to so many families for Christmas. So the men stepped aside for a private conversation. My husband told him the story of racing around with little ones in tow to 3 or 4 houses. Then being so exhausted that no one enjoyed Christmas.

The older told the younger a bit of wisdom: "You have to decide how to celebrate as a couple. You no longer answer to your parents. So talk together about how you want to spend your holidays and then tell us."

I think it was very freeing for our son. The bonds of expectation dropped away. The comprehension of his own family starting and that his parents see him as an adult made him stand a little taller that day.

I followed up with my own release. I said, "You are no longer demanded, expected, or under our rules. Now, you are simply invited."

Okay, that was so hard to do. Also very necessary for the health of our children's new marriage.

But as Mary did with Jesus, I still ponder these things in my heart. I am grateful that I raised a strong, good, and wise young man. I believe he will be a wonderful husband and father. Since I didn't raise him to be a child, it's time to release him. It's time to reap the rewards of parenthood and wait for the blessing of grandchildren.

The eagle's wings are lifted. In two weeks he will soar. He will find a new nest where he will curl his wings around his own family. And I will stand and watch in awe at the magnificence of that Eagle in flight, on the hunt to provide, and protecting his family. There is never a more inspiring thing to see than the success of free flight out into the wilds.


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  1. What a wonderful thing you all did for your son. So many families do put pressure on their grown children, especially when there are grandchildren involved. They have to be free to establish their own traditions. That said, I bet they'll make a point to see you :-)

  2. Angie,
    This made me want to cry! I am the mother of two boys, and they are rapidly growing into young men. Oh, how I will miss them, but how I do want them to be free, independent adults when that time comes.

    We always had a lot of pressure about holiday visits (and still do sometimes) when we first married, but we have learned to just tell our folks what we will be attending in plenty of time and it all seems to work out. The point is being together...not the date on the calendar. It takes some folks a lifetime to learn that.

    Thanks for sharing!


  3. Ang,

    It is tough, isn't it? I remember as a kid going here and there and everywhere. I had fun, but it was a lot of traveling around.
    You are a fab mom!!
    I know you will be blessed by this marriage.

  4. What a great story, Angie! Thanks for sharing. I'll have to remember that when it comes time to let mine go.

    As for your son and his fiance, they are both so handsome/gorgeous! Your son must be your biological child because he has your eyes and smile. :)


  5. You all are so sweet and uplifting! Thanks. And Missy, yes, he's all mine. You can definitely tell by the almond, squinty eyes. sigh. Neither one of us can ever get pics with open eyes. When we smile, they just close up.

    Thank you for the compliments!
    Love and feeling very blessed by you all,

  6. It did make me want to cry thinking about it. Congratulations to you for taking this huge step for your son, and to him and his wife-to-be for expressing their feelings and concerns.