Saturday, February 23, 2008

Schedule Some Rest

As I read through some of the comments this week, one of the things that kept leaping out at me was how we women tend to "do too much". Do we do this because others expect it of us, or do we do this because we expect it of ourselves? I think it's the latter.

We don't want to disappoint our spouse, our children, our church family, our responsibilities, etc. And so we neglect, and we neglect, and we neglect, and we neglect--ourselves. If we take time for ourselves, we feel guilty. Our minds wonder, "well, I should be doing...."


Who said you should be doing--anything?

People expect certain things from you, because that's what you've conditioned them to think. They expect what you give them. My daughter is now ten and lately, I've been so tired at night I just collapse. We always say bedtime prayers together. When I asked her to say them on her own, she looked like she might cry. And the guilt trip started. I almost gave in, but I felt the Holy Spirit gently remind me, "I need to develop a personal relationship with her, too."

Ouch! It's time. He's woeing her and I could get in the way, if I don't make myself stop and do nothing. Over the last couple of months I've conditioned her to do this, and now, sometimes we say prayers together and sometimes we don't. Guess what? I've noticed her prayers are stronger, deeper, and more about others. She's now thinking from her heart.

What are you doing around the house that someone else could be doing? Could your spouse cook more than once a month, or once a week? If you have teenagers, could they be washing their own clothes? Could they be responsible for cleaning something besides their own room? If you are a stay-at-home mom, don't think you have to do everything yourself out of guilt. Your writing is important and it isn't a hobby, and you need to condition your family to see it that way before you have deadlines from a publisher. If you write during the day (even if you're not paid), you are still working a job. Don't allow anyone (not even yourself) to take that feeling of accomplishment from you. Yes, your spouse and family comes first, so sit down and talk to them about how to work your writing into a schedule that gives you rest and time for yourself.

The other day my husband came into the office, and said, "I thought you were writing?" I was resting my head against the chair and just taking a few moments for myself. There was this unspoken expectation that if you're going to take time from us, then you had better be writing and not wasting that time. I had worked all day and came home and worked on my writing. I get tired!!!

If you manage the home, delegate more often and give yourself some rest. That is what managers do. You need to be refreshed, annointed to write the story God has laid upon your heart, not squeezing it in between all these other "things" where you can't really concentrate. Re-condition your mind, and then work on re-conditioning your family's mindset.

You will be blessed. Your family will be blessed. Your writing will be blessed. And others will be blessed by your writing. I'm not paid for my blogs, but I'm blessed each time I receive a comment, email, or prayer request from my website letting me know that my writing is making a difference to others.

Schedule some rest!


  1. So well said, Jenn!

    I went to bed before midnight two nights this past week, and I can tell a difference. The next day or two after the full nights of sleep I felt really draggy. But after that adjustment, I felt much more rested. I decided it's time to take better care of myself.


  2. I'm really appreciating your post today. I need to go to bed earlier and have struggled with it because that's my only private time. I need to change my schedule. It isn't working the way I have it now, but it's the most comfortable. sigh.