Saturday, April 26, 2008

Sacrificing My Schedule

Wow! If you haven't read Amy's devotion below, please do. Saturday is my day to post but I'm struggling with what to say after such powerful words. So I'll talk about what struck home to me from Amy's post. The last portion really hit me hard.


"Keep me alert and willing to sacrifice my schedule to join You where You are."


I haven't been sacrificing my schedule to God. I either try to squeeze Him in or (ouch and swallow) blame Him for parts of it I have no control over. I want to quit my job so bad I don't know what to do, but I need the job. There is nothing wrong with my job and it's a great blessing from the Lord. It's just that I would rather be writing while my daughter and husband are at work and school so that my evenings and weekends aren't stolen from them.

My needs and wants are at war with each other just as much as the spirit wars with the flesh. So I've been asking God to change a need in my life--to not need to work outside the home so I can spend more time with God, my husband, my daughter, writing, and doing the things I want to do before it's too late.


And as the years go by, and I try to squeeze in everything around my job, I grow resentful. I keep cutting back the "resentful branch" to a minimum, but I need to yank it out by the roots. I have to be real here, because God knows my deepest thoughts and my heart. I can't hide this from Him. He knows that there have been times when I've looked at my Bible and thought, You are God. You can do anything. The things in my life that I can't change, You have the power to change, and You refuse to change it no matter how hard I work, so if You want more time, change my circumstances!

But after reading Amy's post, the words sacrifice my schedule to join Him where He is, keeps playing in my mind over and over like a recorder. This is what I must do no matter whether anything else gets accomplished or not. I've got to sacrifice my "to do" list for him and to him.

He comes before my next scene, my next chapter, my next blog, my next critique, or answering email. If I go a day or three days without writing one word on my manuscript or blog, it isn't the end of my writing career. It doesn't mean I won't get published, or I'm not managing my time wisely. It may mean I need a break from writing, that God is downloading spiritual things inside me, or other things needed to take priority for those days.

In sacrificing my schedule to God, I choose to first spend time with Him, and everything else follows. I don't panic or stress over what I didn't get done that day. This sounds easy, but it isn't. God knows this is my weakness. Perhaps working a full-time job outside the home is my thorn in the flesh and I just need to pray for God's grace to endure it.

What are your thorns in the flesh? Are you praying for sufficient grace until God grants you the season of deliverance? Have you had to pull out the roots of resentment?

Thank you, Amy, for your timely and spirit-filled post.

6 comments:

  1. Jenn, you are so right. Even though I'm lucky enough to commit myself full-time to writing, life still gets in the way. There are the things that I WANT to do versus those things I NEED to do. And I usually complain about the things that I NEED to do because I don't WANT to do them. Every morning I have to commit my time to the Lord, that I will accomplish His will and not mine.

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  2. Excellent post, Jenn!

    The thing that I resent most is housework. I've tried to learn to start doing everything as doing it for the Lord. I try to find joy in doing things that make our home nicer, cleaner, that give us clean clothes to wear! To make healthier food. But it's so hard for me. It's definitely a growing area for me.

    Missy

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  3. Oh sure, Missy, bring up housework :-P

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  4. LOL! It's the bane of my existence, Mindy. I can't help it. :)

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  5. Housework, yuk! I should be doing it right now, but i"m not. I work with a girl and everytime you ask her how her weekend was she always says the same thing.
    "I cleaned." I think yuk! But I'm sure her house would withstand unexpected visitors much more than mine.

    Anyway, enough words on the H word.

    Jenn,
    fabulous post. Amy is out of town, but i know she'll be thrilled to read your post in response to her post. It's true. It's hard. How do we cope. I'm having the same resentment about working that you are. But I have to....Insurance, everything comes into play when the talk of quitting the job comes up. We just have to put God first and all other things will come...for our good. I firmly believe that.

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  6. Hey, Jenn!

    Like Lindi said, I've been out of town and just now had a chance to read your post. I'm blown away by how God used it.

    But I have to confess... I struggle with the very same issues I cried out to God with in prayer. The words of that devotion are my heart's desire, but all to often not how I sign my name to the end of a day.

    Thankfully, God knows we are but dust and His mercies are new every morning. I'm learning that's far more than a Sunday school answer. Those truths are life. And I draw strength from them when I see the truth about where I am and then focus my eyes on the Lord, trusting He's always at work growing me and making me more like Him.

    I think we grow not when we "get it perfect" because we can't. But we grow when we keep getting back up and crawling into our heavenly Daddy's lap, knowing He's still at work. And He loves us no matter what.

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