Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Languages of Love

One of my favorite books about love is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. And actually, the book I have is The Five Love Languages of Children. There's a whole assortment of the books. But they're all similar in that they teach you that different people feel loved in different ways. Each has his/her own love language.

For example, I feel loved when my husband does acts of service--cooks a meal, offers to pick up the children on his day off, loads the dishwasher, cleans the dogs' muddy feet. (Yes, I feel loved when he cleans up mud!!) :)

His language of love is words of affirmation (and a close second would probably be physical touch). So he feels most loved if I: write a love letter, give him a sweet card, brag on him, etc.
So, even if I'm forever doing little things for my husband-- chores or jobs that he would usually do-- he may not feel as loved as if I were to write him a love letter. Well, my goodness, he can write me a dozen romantic letters, and I would be tempted to toss them over my shoulder and ask if he could just please scoop the cat litter box! LOL

So think about your significant other (or your children or family members or friends). And you know, I think this is especially important for children, because love isn't a one-size-fits-all sort of thing. See if you can figure out how your loved ones best communicate love. The 5 love languages are:

Quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Okay, what's your love language??

P.S. And don't forget to mail your Valentine's cards today!!



  1. i absolutely love the 5 love languages! my wife and i have different love languages... i need words of affirmation whereas she needs quality time. great entry!

  2. My husband and I both love The Five Love Languages! When my husband first read it, he purchased copies for everyone in his family and took a book to work for his co-workers to read.

    My love language is a combination of Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. Tell me you love me and give me a hug and I'm good to go! My husband's is Quality Time. So cuddling on the couch while watching a movie makes us both happy!

    L. Diane Wolfe

  3. Oh yeah. That book changed our marriage. That one and Power of a Praying Wife. Two very powerful books.

    I'm "acts of service" and my hubby is "words of affirmation and quality time"

    Knowing each other's love language has allowed ourselves the ability to make sure our tanks are full. It's awesome.

    Thanks for the post. Have a great day.

  4. Jundy, thanks so much for stopping by!

    Diane, you made a great point! It's best to try to combine the languages to make you both happy at once! thanks for the great reminder!

    Lynn, I'll have to check out The Power of a Praying Wife. I've heard of it but have never read it. Thanks for the recommendation!

  5. I think it's interesting how many are words of affirmation. But Diane's just like me! I'm words of affirmation and physical touch so the "I love you" and a hug goes huge miles with me while my hubby is acts of service.

    I would love to do a study on how that works out down the generations. With 6 kids, it gets a little confusing, especially since 2 are his and 4 are mine. But I've noticed my step-daughters are very much like my hubby in doing things for others as an act of love.

  6. Yes, very interesting, Angie. I think my oldest's language is gifts or quality time (he was a hard one to determine). My middle one is acts of service (like me, and out of all my kids, he's the most like me). My youngest may be quality time, but she's kind of tough to figure out, too (and is very much like her oldest brother, so if I could figure one of them out, I could probably figure out the other.)

    Very fun and interesting!

    Oh, and I just play basketball with the two youngest, so I hope they're feeling very loved right now!