Saturday, July 11, 2009

Putting God Back in First Place

Jenn here.
In the past year, I've gotten so caught up in trying to keep up with my schedule that I do all the things expected of me or that I know need to be done and by the end of the day, I've forgotten and/or neglected my time with God. Mind you, it isn't done on purpose.

I wake up feeling like I need more sleep, dreading the day ahead of me at work and jump right into getting myself ready, getting my daughter to school and race to work. I weed through all kinds of traffic and by the time I get home, I'm drained from all the office gossip and politics I've tried to avoid. I catch up with my hubby and daughter during dinner to discover how their day went. And I'm tired.

There are times in the evenings when we have family Bible studies, and I thoroughly enjoy these. Other times I actually get time to write, but lately my eyes have hurt me so bad that I'm struggling. After working all day, my eyes are so worn out, they don't have much energy and strength left for my writing and Bible studies in the evening.

I've seen two different Ophthalmologists and I'm frustrated with them. Now days it seems like if you don't fit into an easy diagnosis box, they want to write you off and get to the next person waiting in line. No, I want them to figure out what is wrong. Don't blame it on my age and my contacts. Please don't take this the wrong way if you're older than me, but if I was 47 or 57 rather than 37, I might be inclined to agree with their suggestion that "I'm just getting older". Something has changed in the last year and I want my doctors to figure out what it is. I don't want them to write me off and make suggestions as to what "it probably is". If I wear my glasses for a couple of weeks and my eyes still hurt, I can hardly understand how they can blame it on my contacts--I'm not wearing them! I don't have any trouble seeing distance and close up, so I don't need reading glasses on top of my contacts--so my age hasn't caught up with me there.

In the process of going through all this, I'm doing what most Christians do. I'm turning to God for answers and begging for His mercy and forgiveness for my neglect. Granted, I don't completely neglect Him, but when I calculate my time on the computer, at work, doing chores and other things, my time with him seems neglectful and I feel guilty. So I've gone back to something I used to do, read my Bible when I first get up--even if it is only one chapter, and I pray before I do anything else. I want to give Him the first fruit of my time before my eyes give out on me for that day.

In the meantime, pray with me that my eyes get better and that they find a way to help me. We have custom ordered a new pair of contacts that won't arrive for a few more weeks. In the meantime, I am determined to wear glasses and give my eyes a much needed and deserved break, but I do have to keep working, writing, and reading my Bible. I've cut back on my pleasure reading and my Internet surfing, but I'm still trying to keep up with my "online promotion". Perhaps God is trying to teach me how to take more breaks and rest, which I am slowly learning to do.


  1. Will be praying for you, Jennifer.
    And after the week I've had, ending with the final funeral yesterday for those killed on Ocracoke Island, I am now ready to be a better servant of the Lord.

    L. Diane Wolfe

  2. I know what you mean when you have trouble with your eyes, my get tired so easy, sometimes I just have to sit back and close them for awhile. But thank God I still can see.


  3. I can relate to waking up and moving about your day and God comes later in the day. I used to wake up in the morning and read the Bible and pray but lately, I've stopped doing that. I'll be praying for you, Jenn.

  4. Jenn, I'll keep praying for your eyes.

    Diane, I'm so sorry you had a rough week.