Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Bachelor: Is a rose still a rose?

Angie here:
Should he or shouldn't he? 
Does he need to kiss all these women to see if he has chemistry or if he wants to give them a rose?

Is a rose still a rose?
Have you ever felt the "zing" from simply touching hands? I have. It's surprising and powerful. What about the sound of a voice? Science says when our chemistry is in synch with the opposite sex the touch of their skin to ours will cause an electric-like flash through our bodies. The sound of the person's voice will actually lift the tiny hairs inside our ears--it tickles the ears. 

My husband's voice tickles my ears. I love the sound of his voice. The actual sound of it. When he touches me, after 13 years, my body visibly relaxes. No one else can do that to me, relax me with a hand on my waist or shoulder. It's the result of almost 15 years of knowing one another. The electric flash has developed into a warm sense of well-being.

Eyes will dilate, heart will thump faster, and breathing rate changes just from being near him or her. Kissing isn't even necessary to know if you're attracted. The sexual tension is already present. I didn't need to kiss my husband to know he held a powerful attraction for me.

Kissing won't tell you whether you have compatible faith or lifestyles either. Spending time talking and observing one another in natural and stressful environments will reveal compatibility. Time. The one thing the people on The Bachelor never get enough of to determine the outcome of a long term relationship, let alone a marriage. But it seems this is the new norm our young people may think of as role modeling.

Scene from this week's show: The bachelor asks an older man about kissing all the women. The older man's response is that if he feels like kissing the multiple women, he should. The younger man mentions that he feels badly kissing so many women. He actually has a moral gut check. Then he's advised that if they want to kiss, go ahead. How often in our lives do we follow a friend's errant advice instead of the Holy Spirit's nudge inside? 

Hmm. So let's see, a man realizes that he's taking advantage of women and feels badly about it. Another man convinces him that it's okay to take advantage of women because they want to be taken advantage of (paraphrase mine, intent accurate). Suddenly the bachelor feels okay about it too. Modern harem?

One of my favorite verses says, 
Some of you say, "We can do whatever we want to!" 
But I tell you that not everything may be good or helpful. 
We should think about others and not about ourselves." 
1st Corinthians 10: 23-24

How was the young man thinking of others or of being helpful? Would you want to be the last woman standing? Or if it's The Bachlorette, would you want to be the man after 24 other men? 

Imagine the pain each of those jilted people feel and then imagine being the newly engaged gal or guy who watched others kiss and tell. 

What about later when the show airs?

What do you think about kisses freely given to so many?


  1. Angie, you are spot on. And I've thought before that the Bachelor is a modern harem. except the guy doesn't get to keep all the girls. like a true harem. I hope they don't decide to do a show about a harem, but we know where this world is going...

    I think it's better to save your kisses for the one you love. I know my husband wouldn't have been standing around waiting for me to choose him out of 24. He would've said "See-ya" after I didn't choose him first... and I would do the same ;)

  2. I think this show and others like it is disgusting. The example they are setting for out teens and young adults is horrible. And yes, I think there is far too much kissing between the bachelor and women he doesn't even know. It is a sad commentary on these people and what they believe about dating and marriage.

  3. You know, my daughter and I watch the show sometimes. We actually watched all of the Bachelorette last season. Have only seen it once this season--last week. And all we could do was sit here and holler each time he kissed someone. My daughter would say, "How can he do that?"

    Of course, we kept watching. Kind of like rubber necking, I guess. Like watching a train wreck.

    I guess we want to watch and hope to see true love. I guess instead we should just look around at all the examples in our homes and churches! Examples of true, committed love.

  4. Well, I am a fan of the Bachelor. But the kissing of all the girls is not my fav part. I so love true love. And I hope these people are really in it for that. I know some aren't.

  5. Well, I've never seen any of those shows. The commercial advertising it was enough for me to make the decision not to see it. You definitely don't have to kiss someone to know if you're attracted to them as you point out in your post. I get so tired of people justifying their asinine behaviors. I don't have much patience for stupidity and blatant disregard for other people's feelings. I get even more disgusted when "older" people who are supposed to have acquired some wisdom from their years seem to have less than those half their age. It makes ME feel twice as old!

  6. It is so good to hear like minded individuals talk about this stuff. I am with Jennifer, saw the commercials and never tuned into any of the shows. Although, I know people who love this stuff. Just waiting for the bubble to burst on all this and see a future generation come at us with their backlash. And it could happen, the morals and ethics of the Victorian era were a far cry from the times before them.

  7. I have to ditto what Lindi said. Actually, she and I text during the show, discussing what's going on. We're just suckers for a happily ever after. Even it only turns out that way occasionally.