Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Fearing the Worst

Mindy here. I was thinking about what Christy said the other day about fearing her husband would be mad when she called him to come rescue her. Why do we do that? Why do we tend to fear the worst?

On last night's Bachelor, a sweet little gal feared sharing certain aspects of her life with The Bachelor because, in the past, men had reacted negatively when they learned about these things. Knowing she had to do it, she finally ponied up the information. And guess what? He was happy to learn about her life and what made her tick. That wall between them was knocked down, so they could move forward in their relationship (and yes, I use that term loosely since we are talking about The Bachelor).

In both instances, Christy and this other gal feared the worst. So what if Christy's husband would have been mad? She'd have given him what-for and it all would have been forgotten by the time she got home that night. If the bachelor would have reacted negatively, well, the girl would have been better off without him :-)

Why is it we are so wired to expect the worst? I agree that past experience often comes into play. Yet, how many times does it say in the Bible "fear not," or, in newer translations, "do not be afraid?" When that fear creeps in, I have to stop and ask myself, "What aspect of this do I have control over?" If I have no control, then I'd better leave it at the feet of the One Who is in control and save myself a whole lot of grief.

I guess Winston Churchill was right when he said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."

When was the last time you feared doing or telling someone something? Was the outcome what you expected, or did you find you'd worried for nothing?

Happy Tuesday, y'all.

Don't forget to check out my personal blog. This week's author interview is with Shannon Taylor Vannatter. Stop by for a chance to win her latest release, White Roses.


  1. Mindy, I watched last night for the first time this season. I meant to text you and Lindi to see what you thought! :)

    You're so right. Great post. I remember vividly being in charge of an event and fearing doing the planning because I wasn't sure what all needed to be done. I almost waited too late to get started! Of course, it ended up going well. But I learned a lesson never to procrastinate out of fear!

  2. Funny thought... could it be that fearing something and worrying about it can actually be a good thing, since the way I imagine something to happen never, ever does happen that way. lol

  3. Missy, I think I remember that event. And it did turn out great.
    Like you, though, I think I sometimes procrastinate out of fear.

  4. Eva, would that like reverse psychology?

  5. Reverse psychology and an admittance in not having any psychic ability :)

  6. Mindy,

    You've hit on a great point. I think, for many people, the fear of rejection is the real reason they are afraid. I can't speak for Christy, but the girl on The Bachelor was definitely afraid of being rejected. So many of us have been hurt and rejected in the past and we still allow that rejection decide for us what we will do and/or say. We protect ourselves against rejection any way we can.

  7. These are all great things to use for characters! :)

    Eva, yes, that could be a good thing. LOL I have what I've heard called worse-case-scenarioitis. :) And none of that horrible stuff ever happens. Of course, I should probably try my hand at writing suspense.

  8. Edwina, that's so true. And like I said, we can keep those things in mind while writing to make our characters more real. I've written a couple of characters who are afraid of rejection.

  9. Edwina, I agree.

    And Missy, I may have that too. :) I think I don't write suspense or horror, because I would scare myself silly. lol

  10. Edwina, I think you're correct when you say we all tend to have a fear of rejection. But is it inherant or is it because of past experiences? Either way, we definitely like to guard ourselves.

  11. Great Post, Mindy & Great conversation, ladies!

    I always worry about the worst possible scenario happening. I blame my creative senses for that, and due to the fact that in the past, bad things have happened and you know that its a real possibility.

    I knew my husband would have not wanted me to call any one else to help. He had to the truck and the tools to bail me out of trouble. I feared him getting in trouble at work for having to leave, which did happen, but he was not as worried about that as I was. He's always the level headed one. Most of the time... ;)