Here are red flag reasons not to marry that often get overlooked in the intensity of the relationship, what it looks like, and the reasons why they're red flags.
|Red Flag Reasons Not to Marry (but we're so well matched!)|
1. Jealousy: Questions about who you've been talking to, where you've been, and hyper-awareness of your interactions with others including unfounded accusations.
Why? Jealousy escalates. You can't make it go away in someone else. Jealousy is a deep-ceded character flaw that destroys a marriage. It will erode and unravel from day one.
2. Charm: The charmer seems like a dream come true. He brings a rose on the first date, flatters beyond a compliment, seems too-good-to-be-true.
Why? Someone who is overly charming is often hiding a deceitful, controlling heart. Charmers are very surface with little personal self-worth. Charm is not the same as manners and gentlemanly behavior, but they'll use these with a flourish.
3. Weighted decision-making: He makes the decisions with little input from you. Often disguised as confident, successful, powerful.
Why? You'll be discounted. Your human value will be in continual deterioration until one day even you believe your worthlessness and inability to make a decision. This behavior is power & control, not confidence.
4. Sarcasm: Dry humor can be funny. Comedians use it all the time. But it's not funny when a loved one constantly belittles and targets someone they supposedly love. This habit forms quickly and is super hard to change.
Why? Biting cut-downs destroy relationships and respect. Stop them the first time or you will regret it for a lifetime. The longer this behavior goes on, the less he will respect you. The longer you allow this behavior, the less you will respect yourself. Stop it or RUN!
5. Childish: Silly, funny, Peter Pan always makes you laugh. But, if he can't manage his own schedule, clean his own home, manage his own finances then this will get old FAST!
Why? You aren't a mate to a childish man. You'll become his mother. When this happens, you'll lose respect for him. This is the biggest desire for a man--to be respected. If he hasn't grown up enough to have a mate, don't become his mother. You'll grow to despise him.
6. Cheating: Really? I need to explain? Okay. If a guy cheats while in a committed dating relationship, don't give him a second chance.
Why? You put up with it once. It becomes justifiable the next time. This is selfish, self-centered behavior. It doesn't stop when you marry. It accelerates. Come on, you've heard it and seen it enough. Don't fall for the line, "I promise I won't do it again."
7. Family objections: If people who love you say something is wrong, start asking what they see. Don't brush off their honest concerns. Ask them to share the concern and help you understand what they see that you don't.
Why? We all have blinders on when we think we're in love. We'll justify and excuse a lot of red flags. Our family and friends are not pumped full of hormones and chemical reactions. Yes, we have chemical reactions to people. Chemistry. Certain people can literally cause an electrical charge up our skin and raise the hairs on the inside of our ears. It's a scientifically proven phenomenon. BUT did you know that's not an isolated reaction? More than one person can cause this in an individual. Our families see and think more clearly because they don't have the exact same reaction to the fellow. Trust the people who love you and have loved you all your life.
So share your thoughts and share these red flag reasons not to marry with those you love. Save them from a life of disappointment and hurt. What if you or your friend didn't marry one fellow and found the right fellow later.
You just might save a marriage!