Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Red Flag Reasons Not to Marry part 2

Angie here: Are you in suspense? Why shouldn't you marry if you're so well matched? Come take a look at these red flag warnings and see how they might pan create unwanted results in your marriage.


Did you miss part 1? You'll find it here: Red Flag Reasons Not to Marry, part 1.
Is He A Snake?


8. Anger issues: RUN! Someone who can't control their temper escalates. It's a character flaw. He'll strike like a snake with venom. Anger is a poison that kills marriages faster than a rattler. You feel tense, walk-on-eggshells, and try not to upset him. He may either shout (shaking his rattles) or go dead silent (lurking and waiting to strike) but the anger is palpable. He has a quick trigger, little patience, and small things bother him easily. He's known as a fighter and tends to be highly confrontational, maybe even looking for a fight.

Why? You'll develop a learned behavior of constantly being reactive instead of proactive in your life. You or your children may be terribly hurt or killed. You will experience regular embarrassment. You may be ostracized because of his behavior. You'll become fearful and lose confidence. Need I say more? And yes, I can.

9. Financial trouble: We're talking constant and self-imposed here. Gambling, mismanaging funds, forgetting wallets, and even expecting you to pay. Is it okay to go Dutch? Sure. But not if it's unexpected. Extravagant purchases spell disaster.

Why? He has an empty spot inside and fills it with addictive behavior. Many people don't realize how emptiness presents itself. But this fellow is always trying to fill a bottomless pit and you will always be trying to fill your budget's black hole. Many marriages fail due to financial stress. That's the surface symptom. The real problem is an addictive and empty spirit being filled with band-aids. Women get accused of being shop-a-holics. If you have an addictive shopping problem, get help. But don't let a man's addictive financial issues create a black hole for you.

10. Addictions: You're thinking drugs and alcohol aren't you? That's true. But remember anything can be an addiction. Mates addicted to sex, gambling, adrenaline, books, porn, online games, internet dating, food, and anything at all you can think of taken to regular excess.

Why? Simple. The addiction becomes a third person in your marriage. Addiction becomes the super focus instead of your relationship.

11. Power and Control:

Why? Huge element of abusive relationships. See below.

YWCA's Power and Control Wheel (very available all over the internet by googling)

Part 3 next week.

2 comments:

  1. Ang--these are very good reason to stop and say hmmmmm......

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's intriguing because many of these are visible on the outside to others but not the enamored one.
    Angie

    ReplyDelete