Friday, September 13, 2013

Warmth for the Weary Heart

Christy here, returning from a sabbatical that I wouldn't call restful.

While I've been away, I've learned you have to let some things in life go to gain a fair balance when what you know as "normal" others may see as chaos.

Here's my normal (maybe you've been here or are going through the same things):
  • Scraping to balance home and work: but, work only multiplies - the faster I work - and the dust bunnies at home are just laughing at me and multiplying like Gremlins after midnight as I try to suck them all away with my trusty old Bissell.
  • Fighting to keep my head above water while someone's pushing me under. (Full time employee/Full time Mom, Full time Wife, Part time friend and Not much anymore Writer)
  • Realizing the only way to keep said head above water was to reduce what was on my shoulders.
I began to question who I'd become. Stay-at-home mom was a blessing left in the dust. The ideal of balancing social media with grocery store trips and writing with nap times just a dream and a prayer I want to get back to sometime. Work responsibilities literally took over until I began to question if I would ever get back to writing at all. I didn't want to admit that my friends were right - the ones that said I couldn't have it all and may have to wait until my babies were grown. My goal of being published before I was forty suddenly seemed childish and selfish.

As gray hairs begin to flank and poke out in the darndest spots, I accepted that in order to become a good writer, I had to back off on trying to figure out what kind of platform I was going to be standing on.... Because truthfully the platform I find myself standing on most days is one of a frustrated female, fighting a Monday through Friday grind that means running the road from home to the workplace to the grocery store to pick up kids to pick up dry cleaning to drop off child at practice and feel guilty you can't stay only to go home to find out you don't feel like cooking what you bought at the store and there are all those dust bunnies all over the place, mocking me along with the piles of laundry that are growing to mountainous proportions.

Platform/Social Media. Phooey.
I turned my back on it - Most of it.
I had to let go to have more time to focus on my stories.
The time would come when I needed to focus on Social Media and Platform again, but the time wasn't now.

You feel alone at first. Giving up all you thought you built. But really, it was nothing but proof of all the time I'd been wasting.

I realized I needed to put God first, then family, then work. I didn't live in the same "world" I lived in six years ago. I wasn't the same woman I was then. I was better. I was getting better every year because with each gray hair that pops up, I'm gaining knowledge.

Confidence.

Before I reached the level of Confidence, though, I found myself in a mess most days. Yet, through the clutter and ugliness, one thing remained...

Julie's blog.

Email was the only thing I did keep up with. Granted, I was doing a lot of deleting but Julie's posts that entered my Inbox tended to be things that grabbed my attention. I wanted to know her thoughts on Marriage. I wanted to find out what her "Porch Parties" were all about. I've even forwarded some of her blog posts to my husband - the one where Julie's husband rebuilt a bird house.

Julie is real. Her blog is about life events. Simple things. It amazed me the times when I felt the lowest about myself that Julie's posts were just what I needed to read. Me, in my chaotic, cluttered, flesh-filled world, Julie's simple posts  would bring tears down my cheeks, have me talking to God when maybe I hadn't even said Hello to Him that day; and her posts would make me giggle through my tears. Julie's posts are warmth for my weary, cold-hearted heart.

I struggle to know what to blog about. Who's my audience? Is this post going to sound too whiny? Does anyone care? Would I care if I was reading this? I would love to be able to warm a heart with my words the way Julie does. I suggest you stop by her website. It's totally worth it ( juliegarmon.com )

What are some blogs you visit regularly? Can you share what makes them special?


 

6 comments:

  1. Ohhhh, Christy. I'm sitting here crying this morning. You can't imagine how your words encouraged me.We were having our porch party a few minutes ago and I sat there thinking/pondering/praying, "Lord, are You with me in this? Do You want me to write what happened on Friday? Really????"

    Thank you, Christy. I can't believe His timing. Your precious words. I'm saving them forever.

    I love you. I'm praying for you. I understand.

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    1. keep writing! keep sharing! God is definitely at work. using you as a vessel. love you too!

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  2. I'm so glad you're back posting with us :) There are seasons we all go through. I'm in a season of coming back from the less is more, but it's really hard to eliminate all the things that distract me. It's an ongoing situation though, not something that's solved once. That surprised me. I thought I could make a choice and be done with it. Uh, nope. It's like a relationship that's constantly growing and changing. I need to be aware of that and change as needed.

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    1. Angie, I agree. I've had to learn the same thing. Tough lesson for sure.

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  3. Christy, I'm glad you're finding your way. When you have young children, it's tough to do anything but care for them. I understand how frustrating that can be if you have dreams of doing other things (like writing). One thing I can guarantee, though, is that you won't regret putting God and your family first. Someday, when your kids are older, they'll be your biggest cheerleaders for your writing (or whatever other dreams you may have). :)

    I love Julie but haven't been to her blog in a while. I'll do that now!

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    1. Thanks Missy - I'm learning to be patient :)

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