Saturday, June 28, 2014

About that Control Issue

Diana here:

I'm going out there on that know the one that's about to break and send you careening down a rocky cliff? I'll be sitting at the bottom rubbing my owies and flushing in embarrassment because I was so honest with all of you thinking, maybe just maybe you would understand the situation.

So here goes:

I want to be in control--of everything.
I also want to be good at it, so good that it would be impossible to tell if I'm having a bad day or was losing control.

Copyright: ra2studio / 123RF Stock Photo

I want to stand in that yoga pose "The Tree" and say delicately never losing my calm or balance as things happen.

It's not working out for me. Medication changes, headaches and now a summer cold have inched me to the unstable side. I complain I have so much to do, that I want to do and even look forward to doing.

And yet, one by one the balls I have spinning so effortlessly and with a smile are beginning to fall.

The sad thing is that this is not the first time, the second or even the tenth time I've tried to go it alone. It seems I have to lose control of almost everything before I remember that I can change everything by surrendering my will and choosing His will.

That's my confession. What I want to know is this, am I alone?

1 comment:

  1. Oh if only :) When I don't know something or how it's going to turn out, it drives me nuts. I plan and plan and plan to figure out every possible outcome. Then I've finally learned to pray. Man that took a lot of time to learn!